The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
