it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
