Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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