After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
