I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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