i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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