i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
