Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
