I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
