Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
