Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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