where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
