I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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