Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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