There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
