God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
