i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
