Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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