he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
