So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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