i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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