my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
