You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
