I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The power of my boobs compel you
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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