oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
