Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
