school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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