How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Randomize
