i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
