But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
