I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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