She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
