like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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