I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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