Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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