i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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