I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
