3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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