My balls are so social today.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge