i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The Olympian is in my bed
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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