My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
