Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My ATM looks so different sober.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
