that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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