I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
