More tranny stories later!
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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