Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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