Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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