Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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