I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
