dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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