He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How external is "for external use only"?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize