I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize