Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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