We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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