I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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