chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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