That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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