Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
