We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
When are your genitals available?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
