And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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