So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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