Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
