So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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