omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
