i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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