Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
