We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
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There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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